Menu

How to Resolve Our Anger and Interact With Others Normally

Question: When I am interacting with friends and family and come across a situation that irritates me, I tend to become very angry and expose hot blood. I feel quite bad about this. I want to ask, “How should one interact with others and live out a normal humanity?”

how-to-control-anger-in-a-relationship

Relevant Words of God:

Regardless of whether one becomes angry in the sight of others or behind their backs, everyone has a different intention and purpose to their anger. Perhaps they are building up their prestige, or maybe they are defending their own interests, maintaining their image or keeping face. Some exercise restraint in their anger, while others are more rash and allow their rage to flare up whenever they wish without the least bit of restraint. In short, man’s anger derives from his corrupt disposition. No matter what its purpose, it is of the flesh and of nature; it has nothing to do with justice or injustice because nothing in man’s nature essence corresponds to the truth. Therefore, corrupt humanity’s temper and God’s wrath should not be mentioned in the same breath. Without exception, the behavior of a man corrupted by Satan begins with the desire to safeguard corruption, and indeed it is based on corruption; this is why man’s anger cannot be mentioned in the same breath as God’s wrath, no matter how proper a man’s anger may seem in theory.

Excerpted from “God Himself, the Unique II” in The Word Appears in the Flesh

Once a man has status, he will often find it difficult to control his mood, and so he will enjoy seizing upon opportunities to express his dissatisfaction and vent his emotions; he will often flare up in rage for no apparent reason, so as to reveal his ability and let others know that his status and identity are different from those of ordinary people. Of course, corrupt people without any status also often lose control. Their anger is frequently caused by damage to their private interests. In order to protect their own status and dignity, corrupt mankind will frequently vent their emotions and reveal their arrogant nature. Man will flare up in anger and vent his emotions in order to defend and uphold the existence of sin, and these actions are the ways in which man expresses his dissatisfaction; they brim with impurities, with schemes and intrigues, with man’s corruption and evil, and more than anything else, they brim with man’s wild ambitions and desires. When justice clashes with wickedness, man’s anger will not flare up in the defense of the existence of justice or to uphold it; on the contrary, when the forces of justice are threatened, persecuted and attacked, man’s attitude is one of overlooking, evading or flinching away. However, when facing the forces of evil, man’s attitude is one of accommodating, of bowing and scraping. Therefore, man’s venting is an escape for evil forces, an expression of the rampant and unstoppable evil conduct of the fleshly man.

Excerpted from “God Himself, the Unique II” in The Word Appears in the Flesh

If someone encounters an issue and their hot-bloodedness and naturalness are revealed, is this someone who obeys God and seeks the truth? Obviously, in this matter, if that person expressed hot-bloodedness, they certainly were not obeying God. Revealing hot-bloodedness, not obeying God, being unable to accept things from God when encountering the environment, that is, being unable to accept from God the environment, the people, events, and things that He set up for them, but instead wanting to employ human methods to deal with and resolve it. What’s the final outcome of that? What kind of consequences will that bring in the end—what will the outcome be? (God will detest and reject them.) God will be disgusted. Is that edifying for others? (No.) It doesn’t have any edification for others, so what kind of impact will it have? (They will suffer loss in their life.) Do other people like that kind of person? (No.) Ah, other people don’t like them. They’re not popular; they’re irritating. When you believe in God in His household, you are a member of God’s family. If you do things based on hot-bloodedness and you always reveal your naturalness, your corrupt disposition, and rely on human methods and a corrupt satanic disposition in what you do and how you handle things, what will the consequences be in the end? God will be disgusted, He will detest and reject you—He won’t like you. What kind of problems does it cause for others? It causes pain and sometimes even negativity and weakness. It brings people great trouble. So do you want to be this kind of person? (No.) You don’t, so what should you do so that God will like you, and others will be edified? (Seek when encountering an issue. That is, if something isn’t in line with our own notions, we should first seek God and try to find out the things lacking in us that God wants to supplement.) Ah, so first quiet yourself and come in front of God. Don’t do things for other people to see. Every day, every minute, every second of your life, the things that you want to do, the thoughts that you have, God is examining all of this. He is watching. So what in you is He watching, and observing? (What people’s reactions are when they encounter the people, events and things set up by God, and what’s in their hearts and minds.) Why is it that God is looking that closely? What does He want to grasp about you? (To see if people fear God and shun evil.) This is one aspect of it. There’s one more primary thing—give it some thought. (To see if people have a heart of seeking the truth and quieting themselves in front of God at all times.) Whether they fear God and shun evil, or have a proper relationship with God, what is all of this? Isn’t this an issue concerning what path people take? (Yes.) God is always watching you, He is always examining you to see what kind of path you’re taking, what your life goal and direction are, if you select the correct path or the path of evil. This is what God is watching. If your general direction is right, God will guide you, enlighten you, and provide you with sustenance and support. If your general direction is wrong, and if it’s very serious, God will abandon you.

Excerpted from “Corrupt Dispositions Can Only Be Resolved by Seeking the Truth and Relying on God” in Records of Christ’s Talks

If people are to believe in and love God, then they must pay a price. Rather than trying to act in a certain way externally, they should seek true insight in the depths of their hearts. If you are enthusiastic about singing and dancing, but incapable of putting the truth into practice, can you be said to love God? Loving God requires seeking God’s will in all things, and that you probe deep within when anything happens to you, trying to grasp God’s will, and trying to see what God’s will is in the matter, what He asks you to achieve, and how you should be mindful of His will. For example: Something happens that requires you to endure hardship, at which time you should understand what God’s will is and how you should be mindful of His will. You must not satisfy yourself: First put yourself to one side. Nothing is more abject than the flesh. You must seek to satisfy God, and you must fulfill your duty. With such thoughts, God will bring especial enlightenment to you in this matter, and your heart will also find comfort. Be it big or small, when something happens to you, you must first put yourself to one side and regard the flesh as the most lowly of all things. The more you satisfy the flesh, the more liberties it takes; if you satisfy it this time, next time it will ask for more. As this carries on, people come to love the flesh even more. The flesh always has extravagant desires; it always asks that you satisfy it and that you gratify it within, whether it be in the things you eat, what you wear, or in losing your temper, or pandering to your own weaknesses and laziness…. The more you satisfy the flesh, the greater its desires become and the more debauched the flesh becomes, until it gets to the point when people’s flesh harbors even deeper notions, and disobeys God, and exalts itself, and becomes doubtful about the work of God. The more you satisfy the flesh, the greater the weaknesses of the flesh; you will always feel that no one sympathizes with your weaknesses, you will always believe that God has gone too far, and you will say: “How could God be so harsh? Why won’t He give people a break?” When people satisfy the flesh and cherish it too much, then they ruin themselves. If you truly love God and do not satisfy the flesh, then you will see that everything God does is so right and so good, and that His curse of your rebelliousness and judgment of your unrighteousness is justified. There will be times when God chastens and disciplines you and raises up an environment to temper you, forcing you to come before Him—and you will always feel that what God is doing is wonderful. Thus you will feel as if there is not much pain, and that God is so lovely. If you pander to the weaknesses of the flesh and say that God goes too far, then you will always feel in pain, and will always be depressed, and you will be unclear about all of the work of God, and it will seem as if God is not sympathetic to man’s weakness at all and unaware of man’s difficulties. And thus you will always feel miserable and alone, as if you have suffered great injustice, and at this time you will begin to complain. The more you pander to the weaknesses of the flesh in this way, the more you will feel that God goes too far, until it gets so bad that you deny the work of God, and begin to oppose God, and become full of disobedience. … Whether you can gain life before God and what your ultimate end will be, depend on how you carry out your rebellion against the flesh. God has saved you and chosen you and predestined you, yet if today you are unwilling to satisfy Him, you are unwilling to put the truth into practice, you are unwilling to rebel against your own flesh with a heart that truly loves God, ultimately you will ruin yourself, and will thus endure extreme pain. If you always pander to the flesh, Satan will gradually swallow you up, and leave you without life, or the touch of the Spirit, until the day comes when you are completely dark inside. When you live in darkness, you will have been taken captive by Satan, you will no longer have God in your heart, and at that time you will deny God’s existence and leave Him. Thus, if people wish to love God, they must pay the price of pain and endure hardship. There is no need for external fervency and hardship, reading more and running about more; instead, they should put aside the things within them: the extravagant thoughts, personal interests, and their own considerations, notions, and intentions. Such is God’s will.

Excerpted from “Only Loving God Is Truly Believing in God” in The Word Appears in the Flesh